I haven’t been this excited about a TED Talk in a while, but this one is seriously worth a watch.
Have you ever noticed that the more you try to intentionally ignore something, the stronger its pull on you grows? Take that chocolate cake in the fridge for example… The more your try to pretend like it’s not there, the more you think about how unbelievably delicious just one little bite would be… and well, we all know how that story ends…
Turns out the same is true for our emotions. We have been taught to index our feelings into two rigid buckets, “good” and “bad.” Unfortunately, most of us are also taught to shut down everything in bucket #2. And much like that chocolate cake, those feelings keep surfacing no matter how hard we try to ignore them– and more often than not, they surface in ways that are distracting, unproductive and downright damaging.
In a time when being positive has become a new form of moral correctness, we have learned to use anything and everything to numb out and avoid feeling our painful feelings: food, alcohol, drugs, Netflix, intimacy, exercise… In excess, these coping strategies are a short term fix for a lifelong challenge we can’t escape: tough emotions are part of our contract with life. We can’t outsmart them so we better learn how to work with them instead of against them.
sugg-jess-tion #12: Susan David’s Emotional Agility TED Talk
Psychologist Susan David explains that how we deal with our emotions shapes everything that matters: our actions, careers, relationships, health and happiness. In this deeply moving, humorous and eye-opening talk, she challenges a culture that prizes positivity over emotional truth and discusses the powerful strategies of emotional agility. (And if you happen to be a fan of Brené Brown’s TED Talks, this one will be a home run for you too!) To watch this incredible talk, click HERE.