Material Girl: Why Today’s Girls are Spoiled Rotten
We’ve all heard it before– “this generation of kids is just so entitled!” In many ways I have to agree, and for good reason. More than ever, I see girls who assume that their cell phones, lap tops, fancy clothes, cars, parties, allowance, etc. is a god given right. And their parents aren’t telling them otherwise.
Once upon a time, kids had to meet certain criteria before earning a privilege. For example, consistently good grades meant Saturday night freedom with friends. Or completing chores around the house meant earning a weekly allowance. Today, I consistently meet parents who are terrified of saying no to their daughter and make a million excuses about why their girls “need” things.
Here’s the bottom line: if girls are not taught to respect, appreciate and earn their privileges, they will, without question, end up spoiled, unfulfilled and materialistic.
When parents tell me their 13 year old girl needs a cell phone so they can stay connected, I respectfully disagree. Finding or borrowing a phone has never been easier than it is today. But okay, I understand fears about abduction and so forth so I let that go. But when I press a parent about why their 12, 15, or 18 year old girl needs the newest, most advanced smart phone, they don’t have much of an argument.
My point is that society tends to dictate what parents perceive to be a necessity versus a luxury.
In case you are unsure: A new car, or even a car at all, is a privilege. New clothes every season is a privilege. Extracurricular activities, camps and lessons are privileges. Trips, vacations and excursions are privileges. Spending money for the mall, movies, concerts, etc. is a privilege. Computers, cell phones, music players and tablets are all privileges…
I have no doubt that you work your fanny off to provide your daughter with all these amazing privileges. So I ask, what does your daughter do in order to earn those privileges? What are your expectations of her? What does her end of the bargain look like??
Here are some examples I have seen firsthand: girl is making Cs, Ds and Fs in school, but still has full freedom with her car on weekends. Girl is disrespectful to parents, being snarky and sarcastic, but is attending her concert of choice on Saturday night. Girl gets caught cheating on a test, but still has access to her cell phone all day every day…
SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS PHENOMENON TO ME?!?!
Parents, listen up: If your daughter takes her privileges for granted, I highly suggest putting an expectations/rewards system in place immediately. If your daughter is used to getting everything she wants without having to lift a finger, it might be a bit of a rocky transition at first. But in the end, your job as a parent is to set and hold boundaries so your daughter can learn the value of hard work, commitment and follow through.